Go ahead, admit it; if you live anywhere across the pond from The Home of the Free, the Land of Small Car Deprived, the above is probably your vision of America......car hell. For many years you were right, but did you know that Chrysler just exed the striking 7-series rival it was developing (CAR magazine, November 1996) because the large car market is dying? Have you heard that the Saturn saloon is only 1.8 inches longer than a Civic and has an actual small-car chassis, not a cut-down larger one? Big float boats are dying, and it's about time. Now all we have to do is get Ford to stop!
America is a far-off land; presumed to be a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to drive there. Please allow me to dispel a few myths:
1. Americans drive too slow. Hmmm, strange one, that! Did you know that BMW, Mercedes Benz and Audi don't offer the lesser- engined versions of their products here? They would sell like cancer. Americans love power, torque, and speed. Recent elimination of a national speed limit has allowed states to set their own. Many raised interstate highway limits to 75mph (higher than Great Britain's), some stayed with 65mph, and Montana abolished theirs during daylight hours - a derestricted autobahn right here in the good 'ol US of A! Even so, no one - aside from knackered 80's Escorts or pensioners in large Buicks - sticks to the limit. On a recent trip from Cleveland, Ohio to Nashville Tennessee and back, most traffic flowed at a steady 80- 85mph. 85% of drivers regularly exceed 70mph on motorways, no matter what the posted limit is. Yes, if a law cramps our style, we just ignore it! A good radar/laser detector is essential, though.
2. American cars are huge. Well, OK, almost every American nameplate offers a hugemobile. Pensioners love them (they're quiet, soft and safe), so they and their ready cash must be appeased. But I'm starting to see a lot of elder statesmen in Corollas and Cavaliers. Even so, the Escort, Neon, and Saturn are the only truly small American cars, although Ford cheats by using a Mazda 323 chassis for it's domestic Escort. Oh well, that's why I drive a Civic Coupe VTEC! But most offer a range of sizes that, while not small by European standards, are just about right for American families, lanky offspring included. Americans generally have a lot of stuff, especially families, and a Golf or 306 simply wouldn't cut it for family transport. Another large factor is that Americans generally see Escort and Fiesta cars as a necessity, not a choice. Small hatches are cheap wheels for college kids, or so the average American thinks.
3. American engines are no-brainer, pushrod crap. No, just most! Actually, Chrysler only uses pushrod engines in it's minivans, trucks, and base model large saloons. Two and 2.4 liter 16-valve fours and 2.5 and 3.5 liter 24-valve V6s power the rest. It's a similar situation with Ford, though even the latest Mustang and truck engines have switched to SOHC valvetrains. GM, however, seems grimly determined to cling tightly to pushrods, mainly to adequately torque around it's overweight platforms. For example, the Chevrolet Cavalier (no relation to it's Opal/Vauxhaull namesake) weighs between 200-400 pounds more than its competition, and needs the easy torque of a pushrod 2.2L four to get out of it's own way. What a dud. GM is, however, better than anyone else at pushrod pumpers. Buick's 3.8L V6 puts out a butter smooth 195-205hp, depending on whether it's pulling a LeSabre or pushing a base Camaro, which is better than Range Rover's 3.9L V8. They may have pushrods, but most have been blessed with the newest of everything such as balance shafts, distributerless ignition, deep skirt blocks and split crankshaft cradles, alloy heads, port fuel injection, the list goes on. GM does have exceptions, of course. All Cadillacs are now pulled along by a DOHC 32V all-aluminum V8. There's a 2.4L DOHC 16V four, a 3.4L 24V V6, and Saturn's SOHC and DOHC 1.9L fours.
So, what American cars aren't oversized heavemobiles and underengineered crap? Well, in alphabetical order:
1. Cadillac Catera: A rebadged and tweaked Opal Omega MV6, it's overweight but drives very well.
2. Cadillac STS: Big, but upon it's introduction it was the Mercedes Benz design boss's favorite car of the show. This year brings a very sophisticated electronically controlled suspension to rival, and often beat, anything offered by Europe's best. Power goes to the front wheels from (whoa, watch that torque steer!) a 4.6L 32V V8 offering 300hp via an electronically controlled 4-speed auto. The interior is elegant in it's simplicity and brings Audi to mind. It handles very well but is still the bad boy of luxury saloons, offering storming performance but not Lexus levels of refinement.
3. Cadillac Eldorado Touring: As above but a luxury coupe, home of the world's worst C-pillar treatment.
4. Chevrolet Camaro: Flash car for college boys with big medallions? How about 275-300hp, a 6-speed manual, earth-shaking stereo and ungodly rubber starting at 135hp Toyota Celica money? Even the base 3.8L V6 offers 205hp and the live rear axle has largely been tamed. Sure it's not the last word in cost-no- object engineering, but it's bags of fun and almost too cheap to believe. The Pontiac Firebird/Trans Am is basically the same car underneath, with unique sheetmetal and interior.
5. Chevrolet Corvette: Creaks and rattles, it's only real failing, have been mostly dealt with, leaving 300-330hp and 330lb- ft of torque at 2400rpm to fill your ears. I drove one recently and it was effortlessly fast, sounded marvelous, and griped like hot chewing gum. Yes, it has an old-school pushrod V8 (that's what makes it uniquely American...with high-tech multivalve heads and so forth it would be just another Supra) but it actually breaths freely right up to 6000rpm. All this you get for thousands less than a sterile Mitsubishi 3000GT. Next year will bring an all-aluminum V8 even more advanced than the current one, with more power and less weight to move with it.
6. Chrysler Cirrus/Dodge Stratus/Plymouth Breeze: What next, the Jeep Breakwind? Anyway, these Accord-sized saloons lack refinement but are simply huge inside and offer a more sporting drive than most rivals. They also look great, especially the chunky-tire wearing V6 models. Cirrus has bulbous, ugly nose but others look better.
7. Dodge/Plymouth Neon: Now available in Europe, the Civic- sized Neon offers a huge interior and lots of power per dollar. 132hp SOHC and 150hp DOHC 16V fours make them entertainingly quick, though they do lack polish.
8. Dodge Viper: Loud, rude, bodacious and loving it!
9. Ford Contour/Mercury Mystique: A Mondeo by any other name would still look as dull. Now that the new Mondeo has gained some front end style, hopefully it's US cousins will follow suit.
10. Ford Mustang: SOHC and DOHC V8s, 60's Corvette interior, what......FOUR rear dampers? Watch that tail!!!
11. Ford Probe: Oops, it's a Mazda. Never mind.
12. Oldsmobile Aurora: Butch looks and a 4.0L 32V 250hp V8, cozy interior, and great price set this luxury saloon apart. It is a little overweight, though.
13. Oldsmobile Intrigue: So far just a show car, but this 5-series-sized saloon looks understated and strong. Wonder if the chassis will be any good?
14. Plymouth Prowler: Picture the scene: Chrysler president takes a long drag of marihuana, actually inhales, and moments later proclaims "By God, lets build an actual factory hot rod!" OK, so he probably doesn't smoke dope, but you'd think so by looking at this purple beast. Wonderful!
15. Pontiac Bonneville: It hardly classifies as small, but it does have room to justify it's full size. It looks good now that they've toned down the extrovert body side cladding and handling is surprisingly well tied down. Supercharged 3.8L V6 offers 240hp and 280lb-ft of torque.
16. Pontiac Grand Prix: About the size of the current Scorpio, it looks fantastic (if you like American style) without the overdone clutter of previous years. Outhandles and outruns the ugly 32V V8 Ford Taurus SHO, and it's cheaper, too.
17. Saturn SC2: One day, a GM executive was leaving his four martini lunch and as he stepped toward his company boat, er, car, he noticed that a great many parked cars were Japanese. Thumping his hand on his roof, he exclaimed "By God, if they can do it, we can too!" A few years and billions of dollars later Saturn was born, and no, we couldn't do it too. The basics were all there, including quality, but they were merely competitive. What they lacked was real depth, and now they are closer than ever to having it. Take the SC2 coupe: Great looking, crisp turn-in, good grip and more room than you'd expect from an Escort class coupe. The 1.9L DOHC 16V four offers only 124hp but is tuned for a plump, even spread of torque and delivers a 0-60 time of about 8.3 seconds. Gauges are clearly visible, mainly because they are absolutely HUGE. You can't help but laugh, and they really are great. The rest of the interior is fine, but no more, though the passenger side of the facia has a really weird bulge that is supposed to guide an inflating airbag. Well, thank you for caring, but I'd rather not look at what seems to be a giant ingrown toenail every time I ride along! There are really only two major faults: Number one is engine noise. The 16V has a monotonous, loud drone with absolutely no character. Drive a Honda or anything Italian and you'll understand. This is something you can overlook if you like the rest, but number two is harder to ignore. Sit inside a Honda Civic and look around at the trim. Not the obvious facia plastics, but everything else such as how the A-pillar and roof are trimmed around the door opening, inside edges, and rear seats. Look at the headliner where it meets the windshield and rear window, and the plastics around the base of the seats and rear seating area. In a Honda you will see complete and tidy trim everywhere, even around the sunroof. This is something a keen driver can appreciate every time he or she gets in, and goes a long way toward providing a quality feel. The Saturn, though, shows a few too many gaps, such as around the center console and the back of the headliner. You can actually stick your fingers between the headliner and roof from the top of the rear window. So sweating a few details wouldn't hurt, but it's still a great drive and well priced, too.
A moment about myself if I may. This may seem surprising coming from an American, but I love small cars. I prefer the nimble, revvy feel and quick responses that larger cars, even the best of them, don't have. I despise trucks and especially all those gas guzzling, fast lane squatting, corner wallowing, view blocking, underengineered "SUVs," or "Sport Utility Vehicles." What a name. It's like calling the CRX a "CUV" for Cargo Utility Vehicle. Those monstrous pieces of crap are about as sporty as a '50s Cadillac, and even more ugly. What I really want is a 306 GTI-6, Renault Megane' 16V, or Audi A3 1.8T. Sad part is America will never get any of them (sigh). We have only two Fiesta-class cars on offer, and both are hardly sporting. My urrent car, a 1995 Civic Coupe EX (over here, EX means 125hp SOHC VTEC, and we've had them since '93, not just with the new coupes), is the largest car I've owned. The first was an '85 Mazda 323, then a Plymouth Lazer (their spelling, not mine), a Celica-sized coupe based on the Mitsubishi Gallant, followed by a '91 Civic hatch.
Suffering my way through at least three British car magazines each month is a mixed blessing. There are so many cars I want, and all of them are not available here. Peugot, Renault, Fiat, Alpha Romeo, Citroen, Lancia, Rover, and Seat are all just unusual words to most Americans these days. Last to go was Alpha, after practically giving away the last few 164s it shipped. As a small car guy in a large car country, I often end up crying into my ale. We'll never get the Audi A3, I just know it.
But I can gloat over some great cars that you can't have. But first, I should mention that Honda and Nissan market a full line of upmarket cars here under the names "Acura" and "Infinity." The Legend and NSX are Acuras, for instance, and the Primera, before it was killed off here, was the Infinity G20.
1. Acura Integra: This is a Celica-sized coupe with Honda's usual attention to interior quality and detail. Exterior looks are forgettable except for the four projector beam face, possibly a small inspiration for the Alpha GTV/Spyder. There are two DOHC 16V engines to choose from, both of 1.8 liters. First (RS, LS, GS) is a 142hp conventional unit that feels tight, smooth, and punchy. The second (GS-R) has VTEC and offers a wailing 170hp. Both feel well planted and handle well, and the GS-R puts it power down perfectly in tight corners. Nice interior of attractive plastics and nice fabric, along with the usual creamy Honda shifter. Better and cheaper than any non-VTEC Prelude.
2. Dodge Avenger: A Mitsubishi Galant-based coupe that benefits from Chrysler's current trend of racy, attractive style. If you can live with an automatic transmission, the 24V V6 looks best with it's meaty tires and goes adequately.
3. Eagle Talon/Mitsubishi Eclipse: Also Galant-based, but shorter, squatter, and racier, these Probe-class coupe twins offer Mitsubishi's balance shafted 210hp intercooled turbo 2.0L DOHC four and all-wheel-drive in top models. Sixty can be had in about 6.5 seconds, and traction out of turns is phenomenal. More visceral and alive than a Celica GT-4. Unfortunately, they have an absolutely gigantic butt. I mean it's huge.....Supra huge.
4. Geo Metro/Suzuki Swift: Not everyone got the redesigned Swift in 1995, but we did. Two engines are available, a charactorful 1.0L triple or a 1.3L four. Looks good, almost like a Ford Ka in front. It's only competition comes from Ford's Aspire, an old Mazda 121 built by Kia in Korea and styled vaguely like the old humpbacked Astra.
5. Infinity J30: Scorpio-class RWD saloon with the 300ZX's 24V V6.
6. Lexus SC300/SC400: Numbers mean engines for these luxury coupes. The 300 gets the non-turbo Supra's 3.0L 24V straight six and 220hp. The 400 gets the LS400's 32V V8 and 260hp. Either one looks gorgeous inside and out with the legs to match. The 300 is even available with a 5-speed. Golly!
7. Mazda Millenia S: I know, everyone has this one, but do you have the intercooled, supercharged, 24V 2.3L V6 with 210hp? What is a complete pooch in base 2.5L 24V form really goes hard with this engine, and it's a complete package.
So, not all is lost here in the Land of the Land Yacht. Stiff competition
from Japan has whipped US automakers into shape, and they're now making
truly desirable cars. Most are still too big for my taste, but many feel
smaller on the move and most have the interior room to justify their shadows.
The fact that all but GM are quickly phasing out pushrod engines and overbuilt
chassis is a good sign; and GM's new Accord fighters (Chevy Malibu, Oldsmobile
Cutlass) are fully realized modern designs with a 2.3L 16V four. Maybe
there's hope for us yet. I still can't have an A3, though. DAMN!!